Letter to a 'Shitizen'

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 05:56:10 GMT

Molester, Predator, Abuser,

I read this article a few days back. This is more or less what gets reported every second day. There are countless such incidents that do not come to light at all. I am sure you are reading this letter and I really want to know what you have to say about the following.

When I was in school and had just started using the BMTC bus, my mother used to warn me ‘Don’t go to the back of the bus. It’s the men’s side and they misbehave. Don’t discount the ones with wrinkled skin and grey hair as thatha (grandpa), they are cheap and cunning. Stick to the ladies side’. She still says as much.

Why do you knowingly move to the women’s side of the bus? To get a whiff of fresh air? It is no less crowded. Why do you insist on sitting on ladies seat even when you see women standing? You are literate and learned. As a conductor, why do you always brush past ladies and complain about the crowd? In a crowded bus, why do you insist on standing on the ladies door footboard? To protect women? Ha!

Why, on the road, do you sing vulgar songs when you see a girl with some lipstick on? And think she doesn’t understand? Why do you stare at her legs if she is wearing a skirt? Why do you make her feel naked? Why do you pass crass comments even when she is wearing a saree? (Doesn’t mean you can otherwise.) When you see a girl coming from the opposite side, why do you conveniently stretch your hand so you can feel her? When you see her alone, why do you pounce on her? Why do you play Schumacher on road and take a sinusoidal path when you know there is a lady behind you (in another vehicle)? And when she finally manages to overtake you, you spew out your choicest gaalis accusing her of being a bad driver.

I have spoken to the men in my family and some friends too. They say you do all this because you have to show off your superiority. We have been brought up in a society where men have always been portrayed as the protector, savior, provider, etc. If that is so, then why are you troubling the women? Are you trying to give other men to play the ‘savior’?

You are a stranger to her. She has no idea who you are. She couldn’t care less if you were to melt and evaporate this momemnt. You know she’d like to be left alone. Yet, you insist on following her, stalking her and bad-mouthing her. You know she hates it. You know she’d be horrified when you ‘accidentally’ bump into her. Why do you insist on annoying her? You think she enjoys your attenton? What strange pleasure do you get out of terrifying her? What do you gain from her pain? What are you trying to achieve by outraging her modesty? And you have the cheek to say ‘Sorry sister’ with an ugly smirk on your face when caught.

It would certainly not be an over-statement if I said there is not a single woman in this world you have not insulted.

You are everywhere. You could belong to any caste, class, color, country, age, education or occupation. So could your ‘prey’. You did not even spare that 13 year old girl returning from tuitions. You dragged her with you car. Can you imagine what kind of psychological damage you have caused to her? Do you think she will ever be confident of venturing out alone? You have made her dependent for life.

You say it is the women who attract your attention by being skimpily clad? Why, you don’t even spare the one’s who are covered from neck to toe. Attire has nothing to do with this. You have the freedom to walk bare-chested on road. Why shouldn’t women wear what they like? You can stay out, drink and make merry in the middle of the night? Why not women? Why can’t she walk freely on the road without the fear of being groped? Why do you give nightmares to fathers? Don’t you care you are or will be a father too?

This is no story of an abala naari. This is the story of every woman’s fight for survival. This is not about what women have to do. This also not about what the police or the government has to do. This is just about freedom. Why are you hell bent upon curbing hers?

If you have an honest and valid answer to even one of the above questions, I’d really like to know. You could comment on this post.

- A woman

Under the Rainbow: Questions

Letter to a 'Shitizen'