"We have got to talk"

"Do we? Shoot, I am all ears"

"Well, you know, I have been with you for over an year and you have been a constant companion all along"

"Why is this sounding a little er... emotional?"

"No no, listen me out. I have expected a lot from you and you have done your best to please me"

"Wait a minute, this sounds so much like you so long post"

"Will you cut it out and just listen to me? I am trying to be serious here"

"(giggle) Oops! you are 'forcing' yourself to be serious. I better be. Ok ok, don't frown now, go ahead"

"I have to go"

"Go? Go where? Oh yeah right, your anniversary is here. It is that time of the year when you take a break and roam the country side. Cool, go for it. Come back and tell me and your readers how it was. Your Kerala travelogue is still one of your top read posts, you know"

"Yeah, I know that. And thanks for the wishes. But I am saying something different. I have taken a new blog space. I am heading there"

"What? Are you kidding? Tell me you are kidding."

"Actually, I wish I was. But no, I am not. You know, I had this space on blogger for a long while."

"Yeah, and you also cribbed about my flaws and compared me with my competitors. Hey, is that what you are trying to tell me?"

"Kinda... yes. You know I get bored too soon and need a change. I want more freedom in terms of what I publish and when, the layout, the colours, everything"

"(Almost pleading) I told you, I am working on it, right? Didn't that customer support lady mail you the same thing? My boss has acknowledged your complaints/requests, alright? It takes time to implement. You've gotta understand, you are in the same industry too"

"I know. I know. Again, it has been more than a year and nothing has happened"

"So, thats it? We stop walking to together now and take different turns? Rather, you take a different turn and follow the (making faces) 'light'"

"Hey, stop being so senti ok? You have earned so much because of me, what with your banner ads and all."

"Come on, I am providing a service, I need money to sustain too. And somebody has to pay for it. I can't keep providing server space and publishing features. And those support personnel on whose shoulders you frequently cry on, they take salary every month. (Getting angry) And you don't pay for those. Understand?"

"(Eyes down. Feeling sorry) I do."

"Ha Ha. And you know what? You may be able to copy the posts there but you don't get the comments"

"Yes, that is something I'll miss"

"Thats all you are going to miss? What about me?"

"Yeah, you too. But lets make this deal. I am going to keep you alive. I might even publish my pictures here. I'll keep coming back from time to time."

"And then?"

"And then, if you get better, I'll come back to you. Hey, may be I can maintain two spaces. Big deal!"

"Ha ha, yeah, thats stupid, if you don't already realise"

"Thats right too. But you understand right?"

"Do I have a choice? Atleast, I know what your expectations are. I'll try working on it. I do hope you come back"

"I do too" I say and part ways with a warm hug and what seemed like a never-ending hand shake.

Good-byes are really tough and some are not forever. I really hope this one falls into the category. Anyways, so, the news of the day is, I have moved to blogger. You can read my posts at http://shilpaprabhu.blogspot.com. Looking forward to meeting you and chatting with you there.

We Indians are funny. We try to translate to English from our mother language as-is, even grammar-wise. How many times haven't we been corrected, "It's not 'Rain is coming'. You should say 'Its raining'". But, its our mother tongue and it takes some conscious thinking when we translate our thoughts to English. And when we don't, it takes a whole new unintended meaning.

So, I was chatting with a friend on the messenger and here is the conversation

Friend: (Lonely) Parents r not there
Me: oh! where have they gone?
Friend: my son in laws's cradle ceremony
Me: (Puzzled) what? where?
Friend: to thier house
Me: but you are not even married
Friend: (Perplexed) yeah, so?
Me: how do you know you'll have a daughter?
Friend: (Confused) what? i don't understand
Me: (Bamboozled) how can u have a son-in-law?
Friend: what? i am talking about Seenu's son
Me: oh.... but Seenu is ur cousin
Friend: (Emphatic) yeah, on my mother's side, remember?
             so, his son is my sahodara aliya
Me: (Laughing) oh God!
Friend: ??
Me: he is ur nephew
Friend: (Red Faced) oh yeah, damn!

Kalamandir arrived in Bangalore a few months ago and have thier show rooms in Jayanagar and Malleswaram. The advertisements in print and hoardings have been very attractive. And yes, I had been planning for atleast a couple of months to visit the Malleswaram store and it materialized only a fortnight ago. I solely and completely blame my studies for the delay. But there are priorities in life, aren't there?

They had a 'upto 30%' discount sale happening on the occasion of Ugadi. So, while researching for the electronic items and furnishings to be bought for the house, amma and I landed in Kalamandir. It is situated on the busy Sampige road. they have limited basement parking space but I saw that people preferred parking on the road instead. The store is a multi-storeyed building (more than three for sure) with garments ranging from kids to men and women. They also sell jewellery and accessories.

The ground floor has immitation jewellery and sarees - mostly daily wear and fancy sarees and salwar kameez dress material. Two levels up, they have traditional and party wear sarees. I liked most of thier stuff and I think they are competitively priced in comparison with thier contemporaries like Angadi and Deepam silks. However, thier traditional sarees didn't suit my taste. They do not have intricate designs, instead they have heavy sarees with large designs that would have probably worked a couple of decades ago. I don't know, may be this was because of the sale.

Well, I was only interested in browsing through the shop but you know amma. She coaxed me into buying a soft spun cotton saree with a lot of thread work. It is real neat and feels nice to touch. With 15% discount and priced at 700+ bucks, it was a good buy, I'd say. (Would I ever admit regretting a buy? Hmmm... will discuss this some time later :-) My next visit will be to check out the salwar kameez material.

My first ever blog was about caste-based reservation proposed by the Indian government. I wrote it at a time when the supreme court had ordered a stay on the reservation quota implementation and had demanded the government to explain why seats should be reserver in super-speciality courses and why 1931 census was being used as a basis to implement the same.

Now, here is my second blog. This time the supreme court has upheld the government proposal. Arjun Singh feels vindicated. Ofcourse, this means a guaranteed ticket from Congress next year. This also means the vote bank may sway towards the Congress in the next election. Obviously all political parties have welcome the decision. But then I wonder, why wouldn't they? I mean, thier children/grand-children always study is the hippest of international schools. Thier highr education invariably happens in the USA, UK, Australia, or anywhere but our dear motherland. They can't be the sore one out when all other parties are supporting, they'll lose votes, remember? Sigh!

But the court has also said that the 'creamy layer' doesn't get the benefit. Should I say something is better than nothing? Now what the court means by 'creamy layer' is explained below

Simply speaking, the following would be excluded from the reservation quota benefits.

• children of constitutional functionaries including the President, judges of the Supreme Court and High Courts, members of the Union Public Service Commission, Groups A and B
• children of Class I or II officers of the All-India Central and State services and public sector employees
• children of armed forces and paramilitary personnel in the rank of colonel
• children of professionals such as lawyers, chartered accountants, doctors, financial and management consultants, engineers, film artists, authors and playwrights
• children of all OBCs, whose gross annual income is more than Rs. 2.5 lakhs

As I read it. it appears to me that the real criteria is the gross annual income of Rs 2.5 lakhs 'coz I understand that the constitutional functionaries certainly earn more than the line. Central and State services officers will lie above the line, now with the pay comission hike and all. The colonels and above get a higher salary, thier children are also covered under the defence quota. And the professionals also touch the line, with varied sources of income.

So, it really boils down to money. Now, here's my question. If money was the criteria, why bring up caste? What about children from 'upper castes' whose parents earn less than 2.5 lakhs? If you are saying that they are covered under IIA, IIIA, IIIB, etc, then why not club the new reservation quota with them and may be, increase the percentage? Besides, most transactions these days require a PAN number. Hence, it is tougher to cheat on the income than the caste. It is really easy to walk in to an office and get a caste certificate, wouldn't you agree?

I mean, if the government really wanted to cash in on this, they could have just made this a 'pro-poor' propoganda just like the annual budget 2008. Why dishevel the caste issue? Why divide an already diverse and divided nation?

Is Indian politics only about families now? I mean, look at the Nehru-Gandhi family, the Gowda family and the Karunanidhi family. I am sure there are many more but these have been the most prominent in shaping India's modern history. Yeah yeah, I agree in all professions and trades, there are families involved. We have families of farmers, doctors, engineers, actors, et. al.,. But that's different 'coz there you are really serving the people and/or earning your bread. In case of politics, you are running a nation or a state. There is no guarantee that the son is going to be as (in)efficient as the father. Its all the more risky because there are a billion (or proportionate) people involved, thier furture and thier monies.

Alright, for a moment, let's assume that the son has father's genes and hence he will as good as his father. But what about the wife/daughter-in law? Can she be as competent as her husband or in-laws just by being a part of the family? No no, I am not getting into the saas-bahu (mother-in-law/daughter-in-law) argument here, but I am just trying to think logically.

Because I do not understand how an entire political party can rest of the delicate shoulders of a woman? (Please, I am not questioning the capabilities of 'women' in general or even 'the woman'.) Or any single person for that matter? The oldest party of the biggest democracy in the world? The party that fought for the independence and unity of this nation? Why her? Because she married into 'the' family? Because her family has a history of being victimised by terrorists? Because she has a sympathy wave in her favour because her husband met a violent death? I mean, this is the grand old party. Are they trying to say, there is no one else? Thats like the Indian cricket team sometime back. It would collapse the moment Sachin Tendulkar got out.

There is absolutely no doubt that Sonia Gandhi is playing the king-maker. What with her 'sacrifice' of the prime-minister's post and all? It made me cringe to see all those party workers getting there 30 seconds of fame by 'begging' Sonia Gandhi to change her decision and lead the nation. And this was broadcast on national television (sic). She makes Manmohan Singh the PM (a good choice, may I add here, only if he wasn't remote controlled) and he promptly goes and greets/thanks her soon after taking the oath. She makes Pratibha Patil the first woman president. (Personally, I would have preferred Kiran Bedi, if 'woman' was the criteria). And now, six new ministers are being inducted and she gets the credit there too. If this isn't remotely running the government, what is? Jyotiraditya Scindia, who was one of those recently inducted had this to say in a recent debate

Beginning the debate, Scindia said, “Age is not the only factor to determine effectiveness of one’s job. It has to be a combination of age and experience. Agreed that the country has a large young population but we cannot ignore the experienced. I am thankful to Sonia Gandhiji, the PM and Rahulji for giving me this opportunity. But the jury is still out on the age factor. Dipstick polls are not the done thing in this regard.”

Whats the point? Like, he wouldn't have been a minister hadn't she 'influenced'? For God's sake people, she is leading a party, not heading a nation. Let her do just that. And regarding dynastic politics, in the same debate he says

Refuting charges that Indian politics has now become a family business, Scindia added, “There are many examples of dynastic politics in India but there are also many who come from political families but they still did not make a mark. This happens across the board and not only in this country but across the world.”

Right, absolutely. Of the 60 years of independent India's prime ministers, for 49 years (over 80%) the Indian National Congress has been in power. Of that, 37 years have been ruled by the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, the remaining by Lal Bahadur Shastri, PVN Rao and the incumbent Manmohan Singh. I might still agree with a family in politics, but a family of prime-ministers. Now, thats not right, is it?

By the looks of it, Rahul Gandhi will take over the mantle as the PM of the nation in the next-to-next election if not next year itself. After all, he has established his credibility by 'refusing' a ministerial berth in the last expansion (Like mother, like son? For a while, I guess). And this is going to continue as far as I see it.

Frankly, I don't have a problem with hierarchies in the same family ruling the nation as long as they are capable and have earned it like others. Otherwise, we might as well declare monarchy and make Sonia Gandhi the reigning queen (Queen Elizabeth style). No?

PS: Using the 'father-son' phrase 'coz it comes naturally to us. You know, we are a male dominated world. But that applies to mother-daughter and any combinations between two generations of a family

Dearest,

You came to me when I was looking for a partner who'd stick with me for long. I did my market research and thought there were many available and then I found you. Although there were many like you, no one really came close to you. You were the best. Your eyes would capture everything you saw like a photograph. Your memory was excellent, comparable only to a computer. You were slim and handsome. You were swift. Your shine matched silver. You sang different tunes. I was so impressed, I brought you home.

You have been a wonderful accomplice. You have been with me through my thick and thin. You've been with me day and night these last four years. You have been a faithful messenger. You have conveyed accurately all that I needed to . You have played with me when I was bored. You have travelled with me. You have woken me up every morning. You've sung for me in the evening. You have been the last one I speak to at nights. You have listened to me when I wanted to speak. You have spoken to me when I needed to listen. You have done your duty 24X7. I have been accused of being with you more than anyone else. You have been with me longer than any of your peers have been with my peers.

Now, you have grown old. You need some hospitalization. You have tried different prescribed diets but it hasn't worked. You really need some transplants. You need to be cut up, your organs replaced and sutured. I really hope you survive the long and dangerous surgery and come out fresh and new.

Today, when I bring you little brother home, I know he'll never be able to match up the high standards you have set. He shall always live in your shadow and listen to the great stories of you accomplishment and loyalty. With a heavy heart, I am letting you go.

Good bye dearest Motorola E365. I hope you find a wonderful new partner just as you who'd treat you well and stick with you.

Shilpa

Why wisdom teeth? They are really no use. Roxanne says to make the dentists aid the 'poor' dentits earn a living. Alright? So, why do I need them? Third molars or not, I am not going to a dentist or a doctor alike. So, they are definitely going to benefit from me. Well, my answer to that would be pain you intermittenly and repeatedly so you know the value of food and the same food tastes better.

All my life I have heard how painful the growth of the wisdom teeth can be. I have heard horror stories and how they have had to stay at home or skip night-outs to cover thier 'Hanuman' face.The first time these teeth erupted from the gums, I was 21. Some how, it went without causing much trouble. And I thought, 'Oh! this is what everyone complains about? Come on, I can handle it'.

How mistaken I was? I was just back from Chennai and our dentist tenant was about to vacate the house. That December morning, I woke up to realise my face was puffed. I didn't think much of it when this tenant noticed it. She examined the mutilated tender gums and adviced me to visit the hospital soon or it could get worse. But me being me, I chose to ignore it. And what hell I went through? Over a weeks time, my face just balloonedand then it receded. I gave up on all solid food because even if I tried hard, the food would brush the injured area and I'd feel like screaming. Once I was healed, I ate everything amma prepared without the slightest compaint (for a fortnight :-).

I thought, 'Okay the worst is over. It can only get better'. And no, that wasn't to be. Even now at 27, the pain vists me regulary atleast twice every year. And  I have to make great efforts to eat. And you its very intelligent too - every time, it visits a different corner of my mouth. And this time it has chosen the Ugadi festival time. Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

It is already April but is it summer yet? It is gloomy in the morning, bright in the noons and pours later in the evening. Last Sunday, it rained hail stones. And I was in a closed hall scribbling away answers to what monotonous questions. Boo Hoo.

The sun isn't his prickly harsh self. So far, I have not switched on the room cooler for the year. Even if I do use the fan, it is on low speed to ward off the mosquitoes. Some mornings resemble the chilly December mornings and remind you to wear something warm. The roads are beautifully wet and covered by a carpet of freshly withered flowers. The slush on the road soil the clothes early in the morning. It is not breezy. It feels wonderful to walk in the fantastic weather.

Last year this time, I had to buy a brand new air cooler to find comfort in the unbearable heat. There was no sign of rain. This year is different. While the summer was supposed to officially start on 7 March (Shivarathri), its been surprisingly pleasant. We thought the rains were the expected one or two timers of the season but it doesn't seem to stop. The summer has already been reduced by a month.We just have another 6 weeks of harsh summer before the rain starts playing havoc again.

And we have been granted this wonderful gift by the depression in Bay of Bengal off the coast of Andhra Pradesh and Tamil Nadu. Unfortunately, one man's food is another man's poison. The incessant rains in these states have destroyed the crops and left many homeless. This is key considering we are going for state elections in a month's time. The rain has always beena  deciding factor in deciding a political party's future. Is it a coincidence that the rain is playing very differently when the elections are around? I mean, the same thing happened four years ago. Remember S M Krishna's debacle?

Anyways, I know I am being selfish in wanting this weather to continue as long as possible. But I do pray that the farmers don't incur losses and homes don't collapse or get flooded. Is someone listening?

I have been a great fan of the Daily Bread products. I like thier soft pastries and yummy sandwiches. I splurge on thier icecreams. I have been a regualr at thier Church Street outlet. (They have closed the outlet now and have made way for some other store). Not to mention of course that thier products are priced extremely high but the taste had me hooked.

So on Sunday, I bought Daily Bread's masala bread from the Food World outlet in Sanjayanagar for the first time. It was priced at 30 bucks for a pound. It contains, maida, garlic, coriander among other things. I have tried the other varities like butter bread and have found it soft, makes good breakfast.

When I had the first slice, I thought there was something crunchy in the bread. I thought it was just the crust and tried the second slice. This time, I was convinced that the bread contained more than the permissible ingredients. It contained all the mud and stones from the earth where the coriander was grown. They had not cleaned it properly. I had lost my appetite for the day as my stomach was growling all the while.

I promptly called the customer service number provided on the packing and was answered by one Mr.Renjith. He took my number and assured me that he would check with his team and get back to me about my compaint. No, I haven't recieved any call yet. I wrote an email too but I got it back saying there was message could not be delivered. This was Monday and today is Wednesday.

I am not going back to thier products again. Atleast not until I hear from them. And I suggest you avoid it too unless you wish to make your doctor richer.

Review time again.

I was in Malleswaram yesterday with mom heading towards Kalanikethan and we found this bright crowded shop. As we were both hungry, we thought of catching some snacks. Turned out that this was a cane juice store. Imagine? This shop sold only cane juice and nothing but fresh unadultrated cane juice. Reminds me of that corner shop in Majestic that buzzed with flies. Ugh!

Anyways, this shop in Malleswaram is called Real Cane. It is on Sampige road just a couple of shops before Kala Nikethan. They have two Can crushing machines that run on electricity and about five people to man the machines and serve the juice. They have one person to issue coupons and a couple of cleaners. The people there are real friendly and serve with a smile. The place is really clean and I was amazed that they were able to maintain that with the number of people dropping by. I didn't see a single fly in the vicinity.

They have various flavours like ginger, mint, chaat masala, salt and pepper and something else that I don't recollect now. They serve in a huge mug like the beer mug and the price is just 10 bucks. I was truly impressed. And they do not use ice and I didn't find any trace of water. They prepare it right in front of your eyes. It is real value for money. Compare it with that fancy little shop in Garuda mall food court that sells lesser quantity at 25 bucks, Ha!

Strong recommendation for the first visit and repeated visits.

Atleast everyone I know and want to fool :-). I have too many times in school. I had then forgotten all about that trick until Kiran reminded me one fine April 1st when I was in Engineering. I make a good victim for that trick because all my friends know my weakness for chocolates. Kiran usually never misses playing a prank on me this day every year but he hasn't contacted me yet. Well, the day isn't over. So, I better be on my toes.

Yesterday, I made a note in my mind not to fall for any gags today. But this morning when I woke up, I had no idea what the date was until... Vini pinged me this morning and sent me a slide show of Aishwarya. While she was coaxing me to open it, I had already seen it and was dodging her comments about how beautiful Ash looked. I didn't even admit to having opened the file.

Now, I wanted to fight blood with blood... errr gag with a gag. First let me share a tip or two. When you want to fool someone, ensure you make that person aware that you are not planning on fooling anyone. Say things like, 'Its boring' or 'I am too old for it' or 'One prank I played cost me too much, I have mended my ways since then'. And then pounce on your unsuspecting prey when they least expect it. And when you send something, don't follow up. Let them take thier time. They will open in time and realise your prank. I mean, don't make it obvious.

Ok, now for the gag. Every afternoon post-lunch Vini and I go for a walk... generally to get the stomach churning and to talk about everything under the sun, over too. And we have this tradition of buying roasted peanuts or eating chocolates. And since I usually have a packet of Cadbury's Eclairs in my drawer, I take one for her when I feel like having one too. So, I did that today only the chocolate was replaced with a paper roll. Oh and just so it looks authentic, I was munching on a real chocolate when I offered the 'fake' one. She held it and felt different but like me, had forgotten the day. She opened it and was surprised. Ah! revenges are sweet and this was literally so :-). And I danced my way through the aisle. Na na na na na.... Nananana Na Na (Kuch kuch hota hai ishtyle)

She wrapped the paper roll in the chocolate paper again and said she'll find another bakra. Office-mates beware. She might just get you. Oh and by the way, I sent that slide show of Ash's to her die hard fan Mads and he fell for it. Yay Yay!

Wishing everyone a very happy and laughable Fools day!

Case 1: The murder of Briton Scarlett Keeling in Goa is an unfortunate chapter in the history of Indian tourism. A chapter we could have done without. Many have blamed Scarlett's drug and booze lifestyle for the end she met. Others question her mother Fiona Mckeown's (who has a past criminal record and has been married five times) responsibility towards her daughter. She claims to have entrusted her daughter to a responsible adult before leaving for Karnataka.

Case 2: 13 year old Gaurang Dalvi commits suicide by hanging himself in his room, one evening after school. Later, his mother revealed that it was a choking game dare gone wrong. And this, with his mother working in the same school as a teacher.

Is the parent-child relationship becoming more and more distant? Is it right to blame the parents' indulgence in work/lifestyle for the way the kids turn out? (Yeah, I'll blame abuse of technology here too).

When parents focus thier attention on the kids and that doesn't work out, we say the kids were pampered. When the parents trust the children and give some liberty and that doesn't work out, parents are called aloof and irresponsible.

Almost 30 years ago, when my parents got married, amma was working and was sure she wanted to continue that. That was a new trend then - working wives. Not that she was highly career oriented but she wanted to keep herself busy. When I and Putts were born, many asked her to quit her job and be at stay-at-home mom. She stuck to her decision. I still can't understand how she managed work, home and young kids all at the same time, without any help and so efficiently. Even now, at times, she gets to hear from people that both of us are so skinny because she was working. I totally disagree with that and always tell her that these people are jealous of her achievements as a wife, as a mother and as a working professional.

While my parents worked, they always kept an eye out for us. They never checked our bags but still knew when we ran out of pencils. They would never sit with us for studies but knew whether we did our homework or not. They knew who our friends were. They knew how much we scored in tests. They knew if we missed the school van and they knew what time we came home. They made sure they deposited the house key with the neighbour if we forgot to take it along. All this without making us aware.

But thats the goody-good us (*Grin*). I also know of families where the kids have gone astray. Parents have done everything possible for thier kids from putting them in the best schools to providing them everything required. Yet, the kids have gotten into bad company, acquired bad habits and refused to complete college, basically made a mess of thier life. And I know them from families that had single and double income.

Remember the story where a convict to be executed the next day asks to meet his mother when asked what his last wish is. When she comes to meet him, he calls her closer to the bars on the pretext of telling a secret and bites her ear real hard. He then explains that his mother was the one who encouraged him to steal so they could lead a good life and that she was responsible for his current position. (On a side note, wonder why the blame always rests on the working mothers (or mothers in general). Like, fathers are not supposed to care or what?)

Thats the negative side but other wise too, should parents be blamed for childrens' actions? How long? 12 years? 15? Legally 18 is the age when a person is declared an adult, gets his/her driving license, has a right to vote and girls can get married. But at 15, doesn't a person/kid know that drug abuse is bad, cigarette is injurious to health, they have a good three years before they speed a car and that alcohol has to wait another six years? And how far? Is it right for parents to search the kids' belongings every now and then? Is it practical to keep a tab on who's poking/scrapping them, who they are chatting with, who thier friend's friends are and what they are upto?

So, whats the solution? There is a nice proverb in Kannada "Hetthavarige heggaNa muddhu" which means a rat would love its children, even if they are dirty and stinky. When there is a change in the environment, there is a change in the person too, however subtle it is. Somehow, when we notice a change in the kids we tend to think it is a natural process of growing up. May be we should take a closer look and see if it has anything to do with the people and the environment. And remember the Airtel ad? "Talking breaks barriers". Never let the communication stand still.

PS: I am not a parent... yet. I'll get there some day.
PPS: Are you saying, 'Yeah, easy for you to say'? I know but I also know how my parents dealt with us.

Sample these advertisement: A father carries the traditional wedding 'peta' (turban) around town and places it on (what he thinks) suitable boys to see if he makes a good groom for his daughter. When the said daughter logs onto a match-making portal to check out a possible candidate, the father does the same to the computer monitor.

One matrimonial site says 'marriages are forever'. Oh yeah? Really? Like, until he suspects her of having an affair and puts a pillow on her face before hanging himself? Or until he finds out that his wife, whom he is trying to woo to come back home, has already been married three times. Each time, she has left her husband's house on the pretext of dowry harassment, filed a complaint with the nearest police station and gone and uploaded a brand new photo on her online matrimonial profile?

Another one claims to be the world's largest matrimonial service and claims 'miracles do happen' before stating the statistic of the number of matches. Oh sure! Like the NRI who met her online, trusted her, gave her money for her parent's hospitalization only to find out, she has married someone else.

No, I am not against matrimonial sites. It's their business and they are just earning their bread. I personally know someone who met her match online is settled on the other side of the world. But what is with people? I mean, are they really that naive? Pardon me, but I think they are intentionally ignorant. Time and again, we read these stories and watch gory details of how one person took advantage of the gullible other. Yet, we seem to trust people in the virtual world more than accept reality.

Marriage is unarguably the most important event in life. Unlike the family you are born into, you can choose your partner in a marriage. That's good and bad. There is never a one sided coin, is there? You can make a list of criteria and match up with a potential partner to help you take a good decision. The problem is you don't know how truthful the potential partner is. Even though one might argue that one need not get hung in a marriage 'coz divorce is a solution, it is a very painful solution.

Given all this, how do you check the authenticity of a person online? I mean, haven't we heard of stories of online friends meeting to discover what they thought was an 18 year old, svelte, beautiful girl was actually a 56 year old bald man with a paunch? Or even in job interviews, the person who joined work couldn't even speak clearly while the one who attended the telephonic interview was fluent in English, excellent in communication and technically sound.

Marriage is too important a decision to be taken based on the photo and details provided on a website. You never know what is on the other side. Some how, we have a tradition of building a marriage on blind trust. So, when someone claims to be a Harvard educated MBA graduate, working in the UK for a six figure salary, owning a posh villa in London (no less), we don't find the need to ask for certificates/proof. When someone claims to be considerate and caring, we completely turn a blind eye to the fact that he/she has left aging parents at home to fend for themselves.

How can you exchange a few emails/pictures/sms/calls and know the nature of the person? You do meet the person, but are a few meetings enough to decide a life-long relationship? I agree, this particular argument holds good for marriages in general, but that in a different topic. Shash and I dated each other for six and a half years before we tied the knot (he insists we 'knew' each other (cheater)), yet we were in for a surprise when we moved in together.

How do you know he/she hasn't killed someone? How do you know he/she doesn't have a psychological disorder? How do you know he/she is not dependent on someone else for existence? Of course, you can hire a third eye to perform background checks. But is that fool proof? And what about the price tag? Having done all that and spent so much time, money and energy, if you discover the person wasn't meant to be, then what?

How do you know he/she isn't there for just time pass? Vini narrated this incident to me where this girl met a guy online through a marriage portal and thought they'd fit in together after some email exchanges. They even decided their parents should meet for further discussions when to her shock; he proposed they stay just 'friends' and 'hangout' with each other. Must I mention she was lucky?

Personally, I can never make friends or relationships over the internet medium. I cannot trust someone with personal details if I have not met him/her. That probably explains why I do not have any pen pals. Or why I do not accept any and every friend invite that comes on Orkut/Facebook. And marriage is just unthinkable.

What I do not understand is, until 10 years ago, weren't there marriages? Technology is meant to make our life easier, but over dependence for creating, nurturing and sustaining relationships is actually making life painful and leaving us emotionally drained.

After a really long time, I got to experiment in the kitchen and here is the recipe for Paneer Manchurian (dry) - my style. My style 'coz it contains no garlic and a lot of other regular ingredients have been substituted.

Ingredients:

Paneer - 200 gm - cut into pieces 1/2" X 1/2" X 1" (size matters, keep it small so it blends well with the paste, is easy to handle and gets baked well)
Corn Flour - 3 tbsp
Maida - 4 tbsp
Onion - 1/2 - finely chpopped
Coriander - 1 tsp - finely chopped
Chilli powder - 1/4 tsp
Salt - per taste
Soya sauce - 3 tsp
Vinegar - 1 tsp
Tomato Sauce - 3 tsp
Chillies - 3 - finely chopped
Ginger paste - 2 tbsp
Water
Oil - 2 cups

Procedure
Preparing the Paneer
Mix the pieces of paneer with 1 tbsp of ginger paste and leave aside for 10 minutes

Making the paste
Mix maida, corn flour, salt, chilli powder and ginger paste to form a thick paste
Dip the paneer pieces in the paste such that the paste covers paneer on all sides uniformly
Deep fry the paneer pieces in oil and keep aside

The final touch
In a pan, heat 2 tbsp of oil
Add deep fried paneer, onion, chillies, soya sauce, vinegar and tomato sauce and mix well
Simmer for 2 minutes
Garnish with coriander and serve hot

If you happen to prepare this, I'd love to know how it turned out. Please write back.

Over a decade ago, my cousin, then five years of age (may be less) asked an unsuspecting aunt "Why do men in the family die early?" She replied, "Because men are older than women". And he was quick to ask again, "Why are men always older?" My aunt thought better than to answer that.

When Shash and I announced our marriage, one person was very keen on knowing his birthday. When I told the date and month, the person was very indiscreet in asking the year too. Knowing very well that Shash and I were classmates in college, the purpose of the question was to ascertain who among us was older. That directly equated to who would be the controlling authority at home and how many fights we'd have. Had it been any other time, I'd have lied just to add fuel to the fiery imagination and have fun. But I didn't do that 'coz I didn't want any complications.

A headline read a few months ago "XX delivered healthy triplets" and went on to detail "The father of the triplets Mr. YY, 13 years XX's junior, visibly very happy, said they have not decided any names yet". Yet another news item screamed "He divorced his wife of 15 years, 7 years older than him to be with his new girlfriend 8 years younger". And another headline screamed "Writer marries model half his age" and the list goes on and on and on.

When I was in college and we were discussing marriages, I asked dad why the age difference was such an important factor. I mean I can understand religion and language because it would be tough to adapt to a new one. But why insist the bride be at least five years (or whatever) younger than the groom? He said "Men are weak in the mind. One slight provocation and they fall off the track and get onto another one. Women always have to be young and attractive." I argued, "But these are the days of Botox. Looking attractive has nothing to do with age. Can you say Shobha De looks her age? And what about the women, why should they be with drums?" A similar discussion among friends summarized "Women are hard working and can get ahead in life and career faster. This leads to insecurity in men and directly translates to divorce". And then there is the biology.

While I agree that these arguments hold good if we were 30 years behind time, I do not understand why matrimonial ads still say "She is 24, slim, fair, attractive, earns well in an MNC. Looking for a groom at least 27 years of age, good looking, should work in an MNC, ..." Forget the ads, the first number that matchmakers throw up is the age of the prospective bride/groom followed by the salary.

Recently, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend of 8 years because her family thought he should be much older to be able to marry her. They both studied together and were at the same point in life, career-wise. Yet, they thought the marriage wouldn't succeed 'coz same age means equal ego.

I read somewhere, you might be able to kick something you were born with but you wouldn't be able to leave something you were born into. That seems to hold true in this context.

There are marriages that have worked and there are those that haven’t. And that has nothing to do with age, color, race, religion, societal status or money. It has to do with the two people involved and only those two people.

They have a practice of cleaning a few vessels every night that is needed early next morning. The next day, the maid washes the remaining vessels.
One such night while washing vessels, she was explaining a similar practice at her friend's place that she visited recently.

She: They wash vessels every night too, just like us

He: So, you didn't really miss the chore

She: We went out for lunch and dinner. So, there weren't any vessels to wash

He: Why do they wash vessels every night? Unlike us, they don't have anyone who leaves early every morning. They can wait for the help to arrive in the AM

She: She don't use a help

He: Why, isn't her husband around?

• It is not the owl's day (midnight)
• It comes a week earlier than it's regular schedule (Holi time)
• I am not at home reading a book or watchign TV or blogging
• It is a Saturday evening and I have serious business outside home, serious enough to leave my studies in the nth hour
• My plans are crippled and I am forced back home
• I start out and it is just drizzling but gets harsh as soon as I am out of the parking lot
• I am not in a closed car enjoying a hot chocolate fudge and enjoying the sound of rain drops hitting the roof
• I am not in a closed car trying to clear the mist on the glass
• I remind him of the jackets before starting out and he brushes he idea aside
• I think of saving energy by avoiding the car for just two people and my noble thought is rewarded with obtuse results
• I am on a highway riding pillion on 60 cc TVS scooty with cars, buses and trucks zipping by and splashing water all over us
• I am wearing cotton and it absorbs as much was water as possible
• He jokes, 'I don't have to wash the clothes I am wearing now' and thinks it is funny
• The rain drops are so thick and fierce that it pricks my skin
• My lovely sandals get wet and I think the leather is going to stink for a long time (Boo hoo!)
• It threatens to give me a rude cold or cough especially now that my semester compres are exactly two weeks away
• He teases me saying 'Thanks to me, you have got a nice post for your blog'
• I get into my locality and the electricity goes off and it becomes totally dark
• It becomes difficult for him to drive, so he slows down and that makes me stay longer on the road
• I take great care to oil and wash my hair in the morning only to be dampened and hassled by evening
• I enter the house and they ask 'You didn't take the rain coat because you think it wouldn't rain?'
• I don't get to use the hair dryer (no thanks to electricity) and I have to sleep with wet hair
• My clothes drip on my way to the room and I have to mop the floor for the fear that someone might slip. Extra work - I can do without it. Bah!
• I can't put these wet clothers in the washing machine 'coz they would have accumulated a lot of mud and could damage the machine
• It stops like a miracle as soon as I am dried up
• I have to sacrifice a night of studies
• Tomorrow is amma's birthday and I plan to wake up early and surprise her. Now, I know I'll wake up either with a heavy head or a bad body ache
• I get smart talk like 'Enjoy it while you have it' from someone who has stayed warm and cozy in the house and I have a bad pain in the ear
• My Sunday is ruined 'coz I'll have to replay all that didn't work today

I am one of your many fans waiting eagerly for your return. I am one of those who felt you certainly deserved a second innings in 2004. I am one of those who believed that had the rain Gods not betrayed you or had you gone to the elections at the scheduled time in November (instead of April), you would have certainly won. And we would have seen much more progress and avoided all the unnecessary coalition and father-son drama.

I think the development work you took up in Bangalore is praise worthy. You did what you said. The Hebbal underpass was completed in the promised two years. Your Bangalore Agenda Task Force led by former CEO of Infosys Mr. Nandan Nilekani addressed issues like traffic, solid-waste management, public health and sanitation and property taxes, bus shelters, toilets and ring roads. Corporate citizens came forward o invest their time and money to clean up the city and you backed them whole-heartedly. You are an action oriented man.

Of course, you have an urbane image. That's probably because you are well educated, speak good English with the media and they have portrayed you as a city person - some what alien to the villages. You walked and worked with the corporates and that showed you as a person detached from the real India. Whatever else you did for the state has been sidelined because your work for the city was publicized too much. That is very unfortunate.

They blamed you for the fall of Congress and ultimately the Congress-JD(S) combination government formation in 2004. They couldn't find a suitable position for you here and so the high command packed you off to Maharashtra as the governor as if it were a promotion. Once you left, all that you had done fell flat. And we had a chief minister who cared zilch about the city and was interested only in the vote bank in the villages. This is not a voice against village upliftment. This is about finding the right balance that your successor conveniently turned a blind eye to. Your developmental initiatives were rewound and brought back to ground zero.

Now that it is imminent that the state elections would be held in a couple of months, the high command thinks your services are needed back in Karnataka. They do concede there is no other leader in the party to match your charisma or can boast of the kind of achievements you have. Whatever the reason, I am happy you are back to active politics. Please do not rule out the possibility of becoming the ruling the elected government again if your party comes to power. I would like to see your ideas implemented. I want to see Bangalore back on development track. Then again Mr. Krishna, beware of your high command and dear madam. If your charm fails to work this time, they'll ensure that everyone forgets you ever existed.

All the best.

Bangalore Metropolitan Transport Corporation is becoming tech savvy. It is not just about simputer ticket vending machines in the hands of conductors. It is about smart cards. These plastic cards are being issued as identity cards replacing the paper ones.

My identity card expired last month and the BMTC franchisee near my residence said we had to get our ID cards from the bus stand only; they were not authorized to issue the same. So, on the last day of the month, I was at Shivajinagar bus stand at sharp 8:00AM buying the form. What I like about BMTC is it is never too early in the morning. I mean, I understand that the drivers and conductors have to be on duty at sun rise but even the office staff is working. That’s good for me because I get to avoid the long queues and get to office on time. I paid Rs.100/= for the form and returned my old ID card.

Since, I didn't have a pen (bah!), I decided to fill the form and get the card that evening. The form had questions relating to blood group, phone number, daily commute route, type of pass (city, sub-urban, pushpak and vajra) besides the name and address. Considering the uncertainty on the roads, it is good if blood group is available handy in case of an emergency. I was a little surprised that the route information was asked. My immediate thought was that the ID card would hard code the route and I wouldn't be able use the pass outside this route. And that's unfair because if I change my job in these three years that the card is valid, I'll have to throw it and take another one for the new route.

That evening, I was directed to a basement office to get the card. I was surprised to see a queue there. There were two terminals with two monitors each. Each terminal had a data entry operator to key in the information to the system and takes a picture on the webcam. One monitor was for the operator while the other was for the commuter for verification. The commuter then had to go to another counter and take the printed card. I knew the card issue system was different this time. I thought it'd still be paper cards but laminated to avoid misuse but this was beyond my expectation. The queue reminded me of my school days when we'd push and shove the huge crowd at 18th cross bus stand to get the bus pass forms and then the card again.

After a wait of about 45 minutes, I finally got the card. The card has no bar codes or data that could be optically read. It is a simple card that contains my name, number, blood group, validity and type of pass besides my picture of course. It offers the following benefits for the holder:

1) 24 hour accident insurance cover of Rs.1 lakh
2) Medical expense reimbursement up to a maximum of Rs.20000/=
3) 50 lucky pass holders to get three months bus pass free
4) 250 lucky pass holders to get Rs.100/= off on the monthly pass
5) 10 lucky pass holders to get a free KSTDC package or Rs.1500/= cash
6) 50% discount on parking fees (This is the coolest. I like it)
7) The pass holder is eligible of annual mega draw.

I liked the system. They are trying to remove subjectivity and misuse by automating the process. I wish more people use the BMTC. It is getting better everyday.

Office group lunching at a restuarant.

Chaithali: This bisibelebath is awesome yaar. Awesome-o, awesome-o. Try it

Sandy: Yup, this is good. I didn't know, you being a pukka punjabi like bisibelebath. May be you should try my mom's preparation

Chaithali: Oh yeah, I'd love to. When  I was in Delhi, my southie friend used to bring some awesome South-Indian food (licks fingers). After that, this is the best I have tasted in a long time

Anjana (with a twinkle in the eye): Your bead chain is pretty cool. Where did you flick it?

Chaithali (wrinkles face): Ha ha, very smart. But seriously, I bought this at the jazziest store down this road. They have some awesomest stuff there. And I intend to splurge more there when my dear friend Sowmya

Bharath: Friend? Who? I thought we were the only ones you had in the city

Chaithali: Nahi re. She is from my Delhi days. She is the one who made me a huge fan of southie food. She is the awesomest buddy one can have. I'll get her to meet you guys sometime.

Sandy: People, did you check the link I sent you today? Nano looks snazzy, may be we should try it

Bharath: I am waiting for it to hit the road

Chaithali: Naah, no